Excerpt from a write-up

Well, I wrote this recently in an open letter in a fan-page and was overwhelmed by the response. The best thing that happened to me was that somebody from the page wanted to write it down as a quote! Beyond my imagination! So thought of putting it in my own blog too, to keep it as a memory...


You see, I love subtlety and mystery. For me, romance has to be a mix of all those. Unpredictability, mystery, subtlety, something which challenges your intelligence, captures your interest and curiosity and does not let go, makes you restless in anticipation so that you start biting your hands and feet off and ultimately when you get it, you become reckless in joy, first greedily consuming and then slowly savouring the sweetness of the left-overs and reminiscing the experience.

Happy "Spoil Yourself" Weekend! Day #1

DISCLAIMER : Brand names have been used here, but not meant to hurt anyone's image or feelings.

The hair stylist at the salon muttered under his breath, "Such dry hair!".
"I'll shampoo your hair first and then cut it", he addressed me aloud.
"No No!", I exclaimed, "My hair is already shampooed".
"When?"
"Today. This morning."
"This morning???". He gave me an expression as if I have committed a serious crime.
I shifted in my seat and avoided his scrutinizing and disapproving gaze as much as possible. I had already started wishing I hadn't come for this haircut. But then, I was on a mission. I am celebrating "Spoil Yourself" this weekend. And on that spree, I had landed up here at L'Oreal as the very first step of my mission.

"When did you last have a haircut?", he enquired again.
I squinted and stared far into the ceiling, searching for an answer.
"Laaasstt was..."
"A year back?", he cut in.
I meekly nodded in agreement.Honestly I did not remember when I last had a haircut.
He sighed in resignation. "Come over here", he walked towards another unit of chairs.

I followed him like an obedient puppy and settled on a chair. He covered my back in a towel, tilted my head backwards and started wetting my hair with water. Then a ritual of shampooing my hair and lecturing about hair care took place in the next five minutes.

"What shampoo do you use?"
"Pantene."
He clucked in disapproval.
"Why do you use these shampoos available in the market? See what has happened to your hair."

I wondered how to get hold of a product which is NOT available in the market.
"Use something professional', he continued.
My eyes fleeted to the big poster near the front door. "L'Oreal Professional".
" I had tried using Matrix before this, but it made my hair sticky". I was desperate to prove that I was not as big a loser as he thought me to be. Matrix was a name which I had learnt recently. I tried using that knowledge.
"Nope. That is not good. Try and use L'Oreal", he flipped away my attempts in one smooth sentence.

I gave up.

Here was a guy who knew more than me about shampoos and hair care and what not, and on top of that he was bent upon selling his company's products. Clever and loyal, I must say.

"Please keep the length and the front strands should not go above the chin level and give some trendy cut which looks good', I said in one breath. The only input which I could give.

"Okay". He had finished shampooing my hair. He covered my hair in a towel and we shifted to the original chair in front of a big mirror. The girl at the reception smiled at me through the mirror. 

I smiled back. "Oh God! What must be she thinking?", now aware that all the people around were closely following my antics and the conversation. I fixed my gaze at the reflection of the ceiling.

The stylist guy had removed the towel from my head and was now applying  some serum kind of thing. I took a close look at the bottle. "Matrix Serum". I smirked internally. By then, he had already proceeded to cutting my hair with an expert hand. I concentrated on my reflection before me and mulled in silence.

Sorry is the state I am in. I pondered in my mind. I couldn't even tell this guy the name of the cut I wanted. What a waste I was! I don't know the names of half the things girls spent money on in parlours, in salons. I don't know how to use most cosmetics except the most basic ones. I have been living with a sodden hairstyle for the last one year; running about in ugly chappals since wonder when. "Oh God! Help me!", I sent out an SoS straight from the heart. 

Sitting there at the salon and looking at myself, I realized like I had never realized before.

"Ms. Das, you were born with the right to beautify yourself. You are entitled to squander money on haircuts, facials, dresses, shoes , bags. And there is no need  of behaving like a turtle and retreat into your shell every time somebody compliments about your looks. Look at yourself.Unlike any average girl, you know nothing about getting dressed up. What have you done all these years? Chewed books and churned out theories? Hopeless!", the girl in the mirror reproached me.

My focus shifted to the hands that were creating magic with my black hair. The hair shone like the night sky under the soft neon lights. It looked as if it belonged to somebody else. Parted into small groups, each group taken one by one, cut, flipped, put back in a clip when done. The guy was definitely good at his job. I marvelled at the speed and expertise with which he was cutting my hair. I had no clue what shape he was giving to my hair. I decided not to ask after the great show of ignorance I have already made. He called another guy. While one stood there with a dryer, the other kept rolling my hair. They both worked diligently. I closed my eyes. At one point I felt my scalp burn. I clenched my teeth. "This better be good, else..."

"See now".

I opened my eyes. Who was this? I couldn't believe my eyes at the transformation. My hair looked silky and voluminous. Pitch black tresses in different lengths snaked down by the side of my face and my shoulders. Just as I wanted. I gave the guy a big smile. "THANKYOU!", I effused gratefully.

And that was another straight from the heart.


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In the Void

Here I stand in the midst of nothingness,
Suspended in a state of hazy consciousness,
Staring out far into the space,
Unsure where to go from here.

There's my heart in front of me,
Throbbing away in rhythm,
Sometimes so tiresome that
I shut my eyes
And refuse to believe in it.

I turn back.
Far away at the horizon
Are the people whom I know,
Busy in their worlds,
Too distant to reach out.

I feel detached.

I look forward into the space again.
I close my eyes and feel a suffused light
Slowly engulfing my senses.
A crisscross of black and red,
orange and yellow,
dance before my closed eyes.

And then a piercing shot of electric blue.

Wakes me up from my dreams.
The dusty gray road snakes away before me.
I still don't know where it goes.
But the journey has to continue.


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Dwitiyo Odhyay

Second innings-er second din.

Sokaale othar ovvesh kobbe chhere gechhe. Maa-er kolyane konorokome hachor-pachor kore uthe, bus e dhostadhosti kore office-e asha. Notun manager-er songe dyakha holo. Mondo laglo na lokti ke. Sokkal sokkal du khana khobor pelum. Ek - location change hobe - to Bantala. Dui - ekhon kodin bench e thakte hobe. Khoborgulo bhalo na mondo, theek bujhte parlam na. Bodhsokti gulo dheere dheere jeno kirokom lope pachhe. Kichhutei jeno kono fark pore na.

Prothom khoborti songe songe pachaar kore dilam. Sei shune du bondhu dukkhito, ek bondhu khushi. Kahin khushi kahin gham.

Machine pai nai. Amar temporary cubicle ta mondo noy. In fact, besh bhaloi. Ekkebare konar last seat. Amar pokkhe ideal. Eta jar seat chhilo, tar naam Rupayon. Ki kore janlam? Se cubicle-er wall-e laal ronger marker diye nijer signature jukto landscape enke geche - kureghor, jongol,nodi, maath.
Kureghorer peechoner gaachtay ektao pata nei keno k jaane. Pataheen gaach dekhe amar bheeshon mon kharap kore. Drawer e ekta marker pore ache dekhlum. Patagulo jure debo ki na bhabchi. Drawer e besh koyekta magazine o ache dekhlam. Inter organization specific. Dekhte sundor magazine gulo. First issuetar patagulo yellow, printed.Laal laal patar kolka. Arekta magazine bell-shaped.Cute.schooler moral science class-er project-er kotha mone pore jachhe.

Ashe-paashe sobai khub kaj korchhe. Amar magazine-er gyangorbho article porte porte dhuluni chole aschhe. Bhaggis opaarer cubicle-e call cholche. Tai majhe majhe chomke chomke uthchhi. Ekebaare ghumiye porini ekhono.
Ek khana lombaa lunch sere elaam ektu agey. Ekhane "Crossword" achhe. Byas! Ami ghayel! Abar ek khana boi kine fellum. Seta ber kore porte shuru korbo ki na bhabchi. Bhaggis ekhaane beshidin thakbo na! Noile du dine fotur hoye jetam. Kaajer jaygay kajless hoye boshe thakte ki birokto lagey! Bari jete onek deri ekhono.

Purono jayga k ekhono keno j bheeshon bhabe miss korchhina! May be the feeling that I have left has not yet sunk in. Or may be it has sunk in so well that I have really moved on without even realising. Anyways, dyakha jaak, what future has in store for me...

Borrowed from a new friend..wanted to share with the World..

THE INVITATION
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain,
mine or your own,
without moving to hide it,
or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy,
mine or your own;
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to
be careful, be realistic,
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty every day.
And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure,
yours and mine,
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon, 'Yes.'

It doesn't interest me to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire
with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.


--- Past Comments since I don't want to lose them ---

 

Mid-work break

Office e boshe boshe FM sunchi - "Tumse milke aisa laga". Connection link downtime. Mone hochhe Basis-er lokjon Raksha Bandhan celebrate korchhe. Google ta porjonto khulchhe na j ektu net surf korbo. Adda mere mere bore hoye gechi. Ki j kori! 

Pujo pujo rob shuru hoye geche. August maash sesh hote chollo. Kolkatay tobuo gorom komlo na. Roj juddho korte korte office ashi. Pray adhmora hoye pochhai. Roj roj r bhallagena. Bhabchi sob kichu chhere-chhure himaloy gele kemon hoy. Besh ekta notun adventure o hobe.

Ajkal abar baire jawao risky. Sobai sobai-er paka dhaane moi deoay byasto. Lokjoner hotat kore ghum bhengeche j tara naki goto teen jug dhore exploited hochhe. Tai dao aaj train uriye. Teen jug agey k amay exploit korechilo, tar bodla aj nebo. Aha! ki bahaduri! Karur alada state chai. Sobar songe thakte bhallage na. Eta dao ota dao. Sob e free te chai. Keu bhabbo na eta keno orjon korte parini etodin. Etodin chup kore theke exploited hoyechi keno. Mukh khulte teerish bochhor laglo? Bangalir lagey obosso. Rastay samanno onyay dekhle gaa banchiye chole Bangali; r e to onek boro issue. Mukh khulte eto bochhor to lagbei.

        Bhulbhal bokchhi prochur. Asole edike moteo attention dichhi na. Gaan change hoye geche. "Rimjhim Rimjhim Rumjhum Rumjhum". Ohhhhhh! Brishti kothay???? Charidik j jole-pure gelo. Khora dekha diyeche naki. Chaaler daam barte barte akashchhoya. Bhabchi bari pherar pothe Nolbon theke ek bandil kochu-shaak kete niye jabo.Ja dinkaal porche, ebar theke kochu-shaak seddho kore khete hobe. Sei Bibhuti Bhusan-er boi-e porechhilam. Eibare mone hochhe swa-chokkhe dekha hoye jabe. Besh adventure hobe. But sadistic. Krishi committee-r chairman na k irrigation-er obyabostha dekhe naki ottonto birokti prokaash korechhen. Etodin ki ghumochhilen? Khora hoyate ghum bhanglo bujhi?

Jaihok jaihok. Baah..abar network stable. Kaj shuru kori ebar. Besh khanikkhon okaaj holo.

Dolna

Jani na thik korlam, na bhul.Jeeboner ekta bishaal boro podokkhep nilam. Onek onek bhebechi. Situation ta erokom critical hoye jabe bhabini. Ekebare unforeseen. Ekei bodh hoy "Bhobitobbo" bole.But finally, I had to make my choice. Bhobissot keu agey theke dekhte pare na. Tai amar ei decision ta future e kirokom darabe, bhabchi na.Sudhu etuku jani, kichu kichu jinish master plan e thake na. Hotat kore hoye jay. Ami mone kori eidhoroner ghotonar nischoii kono uddeshyo achhe jeebone. Tai egulo k mene neoa uchit. Ami taii korlam. 

Making the choice was very difficult. Ekdike emon ekta sujog, jar jonne ami chaar bochhor odheer opekkhay thekechhi. Onnodike, hoyto bhagyer kono ishara;ojana, ochena. Porer takei bechhe nilam.Amar prokitigoto adventure-er neshay. Goto chaar bochhor ekta secure, safe jaygay din katate katate hapiye uthechhilam.Erokom torongoheen jeebon japon kora amar shobhabbiruddho. Tai bandhon chhirei fellam seshmesh. Jani koshto hobe; hoyto abar shuru theke shuru korte hobe - kintu notun kichhu to hobe! After all, a very long time back somebody told me - 'Life is all about moving on'...




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Fourth Anniversary

          Aaj office theke beriyechi saare paanchtay.Lomba shorir kharap er onekdin por e aaj office giyechhilam. Kintu beshikkhon taante parlam na.Seshmesh cholei aste holo bari.
          Aaj eto koshto kore office jawar ekta bisesh karon chhilo.Aajke amader chakri jeeboner fourth anniversary.Tai tradition bojay rakhte office jetei holo.Etodin pore office esechhi - colleagues ra, bondhu ra, senior ra chhenke dhorlo. Onek k cha-er addar protishruti dilam. Kintu seshrokkha holo na. Chole aste holo.

          Garite aste aste chokh porlo byasto kolkatar opor.Rastar mor-e mor-e klanto mukh;Shuttle ba bus dhorar jonne unmukh. Onekkhon dariye dariye birokto.Garir bheer prochur sei saare paanchtatei. Chingrihatar mor-e daralo gari. Abar ektu chole Bypass-er signal e. Ektu chole, ektu daray. Garir seat e matha eliye dilam. Chokh porlo neel akash-tar dike. Aaj akash ta odbhut porishkar lagchhe. Soroter megher moto sada chhenra chhenra meghe bhorti. Tar gaaye bari-ferta surjer sesh laal rongtuku sesh bhalolagar moto lege royeche. Science City-r flyover theke sada chhoto chhoto bari gulo k dekha jay. Tar opore bishaal chandoyar moto neel akash ta. Sobai sranto, klanto, bari pherar ashay sesh shaktituku niye opekkharoto;bari phirte parlei bichhanay eliye debe gaa ta; tarpor r kono chinta nei sediner moto; porom shanti.

          Char bochhor agey erokom somoye bari phirtam. Tokhon hoyto prokriti k aro bhalobhabe dekhar somoy chhilo, mon chhilo. Ekhon beshir bhaag somoy sudhu 'ki pelam - ki pelam na'-r hiseb koshi.Jeeboner prothom company te onek kichu sikhechhi, onek rokom lok dekhechi. In fact, ekhanei boro holam. Jedin join korechhilam sedin chokhe onek obastob rongeen sopno chhilo, agu-pechhu kono bhabna chhilo na, bhobishot somporke bhabte hobe - ei bhabna tao chhilo na.SAP-r konodin naam o shunini. Chakri korbo - besh ekta notun jinish hobe, notun dhoroner kono khela - bheeshon moja.Kotogulo pagla bondhu o juute gelo. Sobkotari ek obostha - hoyto unish-bish. Ek maash sudhu hoi-hoi kore kaatalam.P.G., office, Shopper's Stop, Pizza Hut, Inox, r kothao jayga na pele City Center er siri.Dingulo shuuye, boshe, ghure-beriye, poysa khoroch kore, heshe-khele, anonde katte laglo.Tarpor hotaat boro hote laglam.Rongeen sopno gulo feeke hote hote aaj r nei.Ekhon sudhu ghor r office. City Center chapter onekdin sesh. Sei bondhugulo o ekhon onek duure.

          Ekhon sudhu logically chinta kori, practically kaaj kori, k kothay politics korchhe dhorte pari, k bhalo k mondo bujhte pari.Ekhon sudhui career er chinta.Sobsomoy onsite, promotion, increment, salary-r discussion.

           Bhalo lagey na sotti.Kintu korte hoy. Sudhu ami keno, sobaikei korte hoy.Kintu eto na-bhalo lagar moddheo jokhon bhabte boshi, tokhon mone hoy ei char bochhorer sobcheye boro paona ei bondhugulo. Jaader songe diner por din City Center er sirite kaatto, jaara jor kore mukhe chocolate cake makhiye dito, jaara jor hole roj khobor ney, canteen e chair block kore dariye thake, jaader songe chaayer dokaane boshe eksonge pnpc kori - taara na thakle ki kortam?

           Je jotoi jedike chole jai na keno, ei somoy gulo konodin muchhe jabe na.Egulo onek sojotne moner bhetor saajiye rekhechi. R jaader jaader kotha likhlam, taader jonne onek onek bhalobasha - sobsomoy thakbe.Aajker din e specially taader jonne ei upohaar.

Cheers!!


--- Past Comments since I don't want to lose them ---

25se Boisakh - Shardhosotoborsho (150 years)

    

      Aaj Ponchishe Boisakh. Bangalir jeebone ekta bheeshon guruttopurno din. Bochhore ei ekta dinei bhorbela uthe, sejeguje, phool niye mondire jai - Jorasankoy. Ei ekta dinei Kolkatar bheer dekhe boroi anondo hoy. Amra je ekhono mone-praane Bangali hoye achhi - taar chakkhus promaan Jorasanko, Rabindra Sadan ba jekono parar clubhouse e gelei paoa jay.

     Rabindranath k niye jokhon bhabi, tokhon obaak lagey. Ekta manusher pokkhe ekta jeebone eto srishti kora ki kore shombhob? R srishti mane eirokom srishti - manusher hridoyer gobheere probesh kore jaa taar ostitto k nara dey?!

Prochondo goromer por prothom borshar prothom brishti - ojhor borshoner dike takiye gungun kore uthi "Aji jhoro jhoro mukhoro badolo din e". 

Othoba nobo bosonter notun phooler gondho naake eshe lagey - mone pore jay chhotobelakar Riturongo nrityonatyo - "Phool e phool e dhole dhole". 

Baa September maasher raat e halka sheet sheet bhab, akashe jholmol korchhe chhoto chhoto tara - hotat kore mone hoy "Himer o raater oi gogoner deepgulire". 

Anondo, dukkho, raag, eersha - manusher jeebone jotorokom onubhuti howa sombhob, sob kichui omor hoye achhe or rochonay. Notun kichui bollam na, e kotha amra sobai jani. Sudhu praayi realize kori, aajker juge jekhane kono kichui sthayee noy, sekhane amader snayute snayute, rokter protiti konay Rabindranath er kobita, gaan, dorshon emonbhabe mishe geche j amra bujhteo parina tini kotota omnipresent. Erokom ekta lok k bhogoban na bhebe thaka jay?

Ichhe korle jaake shinghasone bosabo, bheeshon anonde ba dukkhe jaake buke joriye hasbo, kandbo; prochondo torke jaar kotha baarbaar tene anbo; se nei, jaake ajker generation chokheo dekheni, tao taar gaan sikhe boro howa, taar jonmodine bohudin dhore rehearsal, bhor theke onusthan - eirokom ekjon manush k ki manush bola jay?

Hothat Chaand..

Bangla romantic shahityer rupoli noy - tobe ekta jhokjhoke shonali chaand ei muhurte amar janalar baire jholmol korche.Kal brishti hoyeche ek maasher opor prochondo daabdaher por. Sei bohu protikkhito brishtir amej ekhono chhoriye achhe haway haway. Akasher chhenra chhenra sada megh, progolvo romolar moton oi stheer chaandtar gaaye chhunye chhunye, heshe, khele, bheshe choleche na jani kon dishaheen dike.

        Amar ondhokar ghorer bichhanay katakuti khelche shohorer lampposter alo. Raat jaga prohori jeno. Theke theke thanda domka hawa amar janalar porday dhakka kheye chhoriye porche amar ghore. Ekjoni onuposthit - jui ba madhobilotar mishti gondho.

       Mone pore jachhe Jalpaigurir din. Prochondo jhor-brishtir por, kono loadshedding kobolito raate, erokomi chonchol hawa, erokomi jholmole chaand r duurer quarter theke madhobilota, belphooler gondhe koto golpo, koto kobita, koto gaan. Sei kobitagulo aaj moner moddhe kothao lukiye achhe, gaangulo hoyto hothat bekheyale gungun kore uthi kaajer faanke,
golpogulo smriti hoye geche; songe dingulo o. Aaj raate hotat jokhon mone porche, thonter kone hasi, golay kichu ekta atke achhe.

Abar ki kabyo korte shuru korlam naki? Prokritir dosh. Eto sundor chaand k ke uthte bolechilo amari janalar baire?




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Adventure- er Khonje...

Aaj 28th March, 2010. Raat 12:15.

Kodin dhorei mone hochhe ei ekgheye jeebon ta ebare palte felte hobe. Khub drastic kichu na holeo, ekta kichu kortei hobe jaate ektu variety ashe jeebone.

Onekdin por likhte boshe prothomei mathay ashe nijer kotha..jeeboner kotha.
Bhebe dekhlam, khub kharap o nei ami. Besh dolachole din kete jachhe.

The biggest romance about Life is its unpredictability.

Ei kichhuta nischit, kichhuta onischit jeebone adventure khunjte aajke paari lagiye chhilam Babughaater uddesshe. Ishita r ami. Dujoner keu e theek kore rasta chinina. Gotokal bikelei giyechhilam. Tarpor jhor-brishtir moddhe pore bifol monoroth hoye bari fera. Consolation prize hisebe Westside, Pantaloons er jama-jewellery.

Kintu amrao dombar patree noi. Bhor hotei abar obhijaan shuru. Prothome bhebechhilam byaparta safe hobe ki na. Tarpor bhablam - "Duchhai! Sarajeebon ki meye howar mashool unbo naki? Jai beriye pori. Dui pagole eksonge hariye gele oshubidha ki? Borong mojai hobe!"

Taxi niye soja Prinsep Ghat. James Prinsep-er memorial er agey duur thekei admire korechhi. Jani na keno, odbhut bhalo lagey. Aajke chokher saamne dekhe monta bhari bhalo hoye gelo. Oi chottore dhuke dekhlam ota ekta station. Gaachh-gaachhalir faank diye nodir ghaater rasta khunje pelam na. Tar opor okhane upostheet somosto pratohbhromonkarira amader dujon k odbhut drishtite dekhchhilo. Jeno amra chiriyakhana theke esechi. Kolkatay j prothombaar esechi - eta sombondhe tara 100% sure chhilen - baaji dhore bolte pari. Kintu oporichito lokjon ki bhablo na bhablo, tate amader ki? Etoduur jokhon esechhi, gongadorshon na kore firi ki kore?

Khanik hete, khanik taxi-te gelam Babughat. Sekhankar ghinji jayga dekhe bhabteo parini otai launch ghaater entrance. Tai haatlam aro-o saamner dike. Floatel - tarpor Millenium Park. Sokal 7ta baje tokhon. Jara janen na, tara jene rakhun - Millenium Park sokal 10ta theke raat 8.30 porjonto khola thake.

Abar ulto poth. Oboseshe prothomer sei ghinji jaygar kada, paank periye launch ghaate Maa Gongar dekha millo. Jol dekhe r hawa kheye mone holo sob koshto sharthok! Praan bhore nisshas niye, Kolkata theek kore jege othar agei Exide-er more-e cha paan. Tarpor dui bondhu du diker bus dhore nijer nijer bashay phera.

Sokal-er oi du ghontay arekta jeeboner sikkha pelam. Nijer sukh-dukkher bhaar nijeri. Jonjaler moddhe theke nijekei khunje neete hobe obheesto k. Din ta aaj sottie boro bhalo kaatlo.


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